black and white fire

Last night I took some photos of my roommate spinning fire poi in our alley, with my iphone…

art. coma. hangover.

I planned to write, I planned to paint. I planned to do anything other than nothing. Sometimes it’s harder than it sounds.

The constant ache to create is endless; desperate, fluttering birds in my gut. Each time a bird is set free through self expression, the whole world seems just a little more tolerable, slightly less crushing. And, the beauty of it all becomes so obvious.

But, sometimes they get stuck, when life (or doubt) blocks the road, strangles the flow. The sky gets dark, the stars go out, years pass. Half the birds die, the rest hide and I get sick on rotten feathers.

The storms eventually pass and I see a hint of burning sun in the distance. I feel the birds scrambling to escape as the doors to my soul creek open, slow as mud. They tear out of me like zombies, painful and bloody.

My instinct is to push back the mutilated mess before it stumbles and splats onto my paper or canvas. But I have to let it be, let the resurrection begin. So, I’ll suffer through this ugly purging and force myself to get it all out.

One by one, each bird will be livelier. Sharp bones will grow skin and soft, soft feathers. And one day, it will all be so satisfying again.

The Versatile Blogger Award

I received the Versatile Blogger Award!

Sincere thanks to Icklekins who nominated me! And of course, thanks to The Versatile Blog! It’s great to know that there are people out there who enjoy my poetry and art!

These are the rules of the award, as listed on the VBA Rules page:  If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award:

• Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy. Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy.
• Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly, and nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award. Include a link!
• Finally, say 7 things about yourself.

Seven [random] Things About Me:

1. My first concert was NKOTB… my second was Ozzy
2. I’ve been to every US state, except for 5… roadtrip anyone?
3. I don’t eat blue candy… reasons mostly unknown
4. My favorite number is 4
5. I’ve had some of the same reoccurring dreams since childhood
6. I just bought a bunch of spray paint… move over Banksy!
7. I have deja vu about having deja vu

I’d like to nominate these 15 bloggers for
The Versatile Blogger Award!

1. lemony shots
2. wayfarer
3. jfarmer3
4. the lonely walkers blog
5. southernmusings
6. poetryofamadman
7. flamespores
8. the waking den
9. little illustrations
10. barbaraelka
11. doll with a frown
12. travel photography of dmitrii lezine
13. michael ashley poetry
14. the dark globe
15. monochrome

light.

jellies

A few jellyfish photos taken with my iphone at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago

grave colors, day and night

 

Collages

While I haven’t been writing much in the past few weeks, I have become slightly obsessed with making collages on polyvore.com

snow spirits

watercolor on 4 x 6 postcards

Doomed

Death knocked softly on my door
So early this morning
I was aware of him for hours
And of the dawn
Rising syrup-slow
Behind his him

I wished for shades with my coffee
A respite from the dismal umbrella
But Death is no provider
We stepped under it
Arm in arm
And ventured out
Hungry children
Casting our sickly green shadows
Across the pallid face
Of daylight

The roads crumple and ignite
Like flash paper
In our wake
The pious sun closes in
Flared and spitting
Like a firebird
A whole world
Thrashing against our leisure

He leaves me
At dusk
Dressed in pearls and sorrow
Head swimming
In poison waters of longing
And far
Days from home
The living earth at my heels
Out for blood
And vengeance for his sins

Night falls
And I
Unburdened of faith
Masked and mourning my release
Wait once more
For dear Death to taunt me
To rouse me from my fever dreams
And show me something real

Trying to.

Let go of.
The safety of.
This solitude.